Love story
Check out all the winners and entrants in our Valentine’s Day reader romance competition ebook. From the young and old, the married and single to a delightful number of gents, they covered the gamut of love, from historical romance to the bond between a man and his granddaughter and even the spectre of love lost.
Acclaimed romance novelist Anna Campbell had the task of selecting the winner and was drawn to Nambour resident Barry Rosenberg’s entry, Almost A Fishy Romance, “because it was so clever and unusual”. For his efforts Barry wins $200, a copy of Anna’s latest book, Captive Sin, and a limited edition compilation of the best submissions.
Another four finalists will receive a copy of Captive Sin and the compilation. They winners were:
* Standing Up by Alayna Cole — “beautifully handled”
* La Belle Dame Sans Merci – A Fairytale Romance by Sarah Rex — “fresh and unusual”
* The Valentine’s Card by Cherie Ferguson — “really heartwarming and romantic”
* Mount Coolum Magic by Dayle White — “lovely emotional pitch”
---------------------------------------------------------
Read on for Barry’s winning story.
Almost A Fishy Romance
Sometimes physics is the perfect introduction to a little chemistry
WORDS BARRY ROSENBERG ILLUSTRATION TIFFANY ATKIN
Mark Summers was an architect on the Sunshine Coast. He was tall and tanned with thick wavy hair. One lock of which always fell beguilingly over his forehead. At age thirty, he was definitely attractive to women and had many first dates. Few made it to a second. Mark was an architect with an interest in modern physics.
Yes, his dates loved his enthusiasm when he first spoke about houses and design. But their eyes glazed over when he went on to describe rooms that allowed for quantum flows of cooling or spaces that could be fractally increased for an expanding family.
In desperation, Mark joined Sunny Extras Casting Company. It wasn’t for the money. He just hoped to meet interesting people, interesting female people who were not to be put off by a little quantum. Roger, the manager of SECC, was impressed by Mark’s portfolio. “You’ve got the looks. You’ve got the bod. Have you got the voice? Say g’day.”
“G’day.”
“OK. Say how do you do?”
“How do you do?”
“Great. Try I like ze feesh and ze cheeps.”
“I like ze feesh and ze cheeps.”
“Excellent. Perfect. You’re on. We’re doing a shoot at Noosa. Five am next Sunday before the walkers disturb the sand and the surfers dot the ocean. You on?”
“Try and keep me away.”
The portly Roger rubbed his palms together. “Excellent, see you then.”
“Indeed.” Mark put out his hand and over-enthusiastically squeezed Roger’s fingers.
Donna Claire was a secretary. She was red-haired and possessed sparkling green eyes. Contrary to all opinions regarding her colouring, she did not have a fiery temperament. Mostly, she was calm and considerate. Donna was also tall with a willowy figure and high cheekbones.
As her mother said, “Even a sack would look good on you.”
Being a secretary for a high-powered real estate company in Hastings Street, Noosa, meant that she met many attractive men. A number of them asked her out. Some of who were even single. Donna was willing to give the unattached a try. She also rarely made it to a second date. Being halfway towards a PhD in maths tended to dampen any romantic ardour.
One evening, she went to dinner with Trevor. “When I’m with you,” Trevor murmured, “time goes so quickly.”
“Ah yes, that’s due to relativity.” Donna sparkled with repartee. “We’re motionless relative to each other. If one of us, however, should travel near to the speed of light then time would slow down.”
That was Donna’s idea of a joke. Trevor, however, was baffled. The dinner ended early and Donna was taken home. Home alone but not quite. She shared a small house in Tewantin with her mother. In fact, the reason that she was almost a PhD rather than a full PhD was that she’d come home to act as a nurse. Donna had been a late child and her mother was frail. Rather than put her in a nursing home, she’d decided to do the caring herself.
Since Trevor was the last in a line of failures, Donna thought that she’d give herself some fun and earn money by working as an extra. She also joined Sunny Extras.
“You’ve got the looks. You’ve got the bod,” Roger said. “Next Sunday at five.”
“Good, I’ll be there.”
They met when the sun was just rising so that the sea reflected a palette of reds and purples. The air tasted like champagne and the sand was smooth as silk. Mark was in boardshorts. Donna was in a tiny red bikini. Even before Roger introduced them, they couldn’t take their eyes off each other. When they shook hands, an electric tingle ran from one to the other.
“I’d better not mention quantum,” Mark said to himself.
“No jokes about relativity theory,” Donna thought.
Roger pulled them apart. “I want a cliche.” He hitched up the cut-down track pants that allowed his stomach to breathe. “You’re both slowly running across the sand with arms open to hug each other. Got that?”
“Slow running?” Mark repeated, looking puzzled.
“Slow?” Donna frowned.
“Slow,” Roger repeated.
They walked to the edge of the water and stood about a tennis court distance apart. Roger dropped his hand. “Go!”
Mark and Donna began to run in slow motion. Mark stopped. “It’s killing my legs.”
Donna extended a shapely calf. “I’m getting cramp.”
Roger circled his hand, meaning: go on, go on.
Mark shrugged while Donna lifted her shoulders in a manner that made his heart race. They slowly came to within hugging distance. A little awkwardly, they put their arms around each other.
“She’s supposed to be your girlfriend,” Roger called. “Not your maiden aunt. Just do the last bit again.”
Mark and Donna slowly ran into a hug.
“Closer,” Roger called. “Closer.”
Mark grinned. He was really enjoying being an extra.
“Cut!”
Reluctantly, Mark drew away. He was pleased to see that Donna was also grinning.
“The hug’s the most difficult part,” Roger said. “So now we’ll do it again but in real time. The camera will slow you down later.”
Mark and Donna went back to being a tennis court distance apart. Then they began to run towards each other, not totally realistically but with a hint of slow-motion romance. It was hard work on the soft sand and they were almost at hugging distance when Mark’s calf cramped. He fell forward. Donna tried to catch him but he was too heavy. He landed on top of her, his lips a breath away from hers.
Mark began to say, “I’m sorry…” But their eyes met and his body on top of hers created a heat that had nothing to do with the rising sun. They stayed there for a long moment.
Roger came over. “That was great. How did you know to do that? I can use you both again next week.” He helped to pack away the crew’s equipment. “I’ll ring you on Friday.”
Mark had helped Donna on to her feet and, unawares, they were still holding hands. At a gentle pressure from Mark, though it might’ve been from Donna, they drew together and their lips lightly kissed. They both sighed.
“That impact,” Mark said, “really I should have bounced away with half your velocity.” He put his hand over his mouth. Damn, he’d just spoken in physics.
But Donna leant into him. “That’s only for perfectly elastic bodies. We’re non-elastic.” She went pink. Damn, she was talking in maths. “Um, I mean it was nice, very nice.”
Then they stared at each other, their eyes growing big. “You know maths?”
“You know physics?”
They laughed and hugged again. Boy had just met girl.
At that moment, however, Donna glanced out to sea. “Oh, look there’s Flipper.”
Mark squinted. Then he saw a fin. A smooth projectile leapt out of the water. It was Flipper, the young dolphin that had been coming close to shore.
Donna ran into the water. “Last one in is a turtle.”
Mark hesitated. He was just an average swimmer and it was still too early for lifeguards plus the sea here was too smooth for surfers. He watched Donna’s strong overarm. She hadn’t gone far when Flipper raced towards her.
At first, it seemed all was fun, dolphin and beautiful woman frolicking in the water. Then it changed. Donna headed back towards the shore but Flipper cut her off. Donna tried again but with the same result. On the third time, she called out.
“Hey Mark, Flipper is trying to be amorous.”
“What?”
“I think he wants to mate.”
Mark was furious. Boy meets girl. Now, boy loses girl? To a fish? A handsome fish, true. OK, a swimming mammal. But still a bloody fish! Without thinking about it, Mark plunged into the surf. It plunged him back. He rushed in again. The choppy waves broke over him but he pushed against them. Swallowing sea water, Mark headed towards Donna and the dolphin suitor.
Flipper saw Mark. He saw Mark and rightly saw a competitor. With a look that said ‘stay there’ to Donna, Flipper zoomed towards Mark. The human flung himself vertically out of the water. The dolphin, usually playful rather than aggressive, threw himself to one side. Flipper came back, intending to nudge Mark. Mark waved frantically at Donna. She, however, needed no urging and was heading rapidly towards shore. Mark moved away from shore. Flipper nudged him back towards it.
Mark did a quick calculation. He weighed seventy-two kilograms. The dolphin was said to weigh about two hundred. That was three times his weight and water was its medium. In a straight argy-bargy, he didn’t stand a chance. From the corner of his eye, he saw that Donna was now waving at him. She was home and hoed.
Mark pointed a finger. “Naughty fish.” The dolphin’s usual smile turned into a grimace. “OK, naughty mammal.” The smile returned.
Flipper’s adolescent aggression seemed to go as quickly as it had appeared. He swam away, leapt into the air and created a brilliant glistening arc. It, or rather he, looked towards where Donna had been. But as she wasn’t there any longer, he shot into the air, balanced on his tail, and sped away. Wearily, Mark paddled back into the shallows.
Donna rushed towards him and held him tight. “I was so afraid. First for me. Then for you.” She moved back a little. “You are all right, aren’t you?”
Trying to sound cool, Mark said, “Do fractals jump to strange attractors?”
Donna instantly replied, “They will if we bifurcate enough. Oops!” She giggled.
At the edge of the surf, they faced together and gazed deeply into each other’s eyes.
Roger, standing on the shore, looked at them and saw a dolphin leap high into the air and create a rainbow spray that haloed them.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Check out all the winners and entrants in our Valentine’s Day reader romance competition ebook. From the young and old, the married and single to a delightful number of gents, they covered the gamut of love, from historical romance to the bond between a man and his granddaughter and even the spectre of love lost.
Acclaimed romance novelist Anna Campbell had the task of selecting the winner and was drawn to Nambour resident Barry Rosenberg’s entry, Almost A Fishy Romance, “because it was so clever and unusual”. For his efforts Barry wins $200, a copy of Anna’s latest book, Captive Sin, and a limited edition compilation of the best submissions.
Another four finalists will receive a copy of Captive Sin and the compilation. They winners were:
* Standing Up by Alayna Cole — “beautifully handled”
* La Belle Dame Sans Merci – A Fairytale Romance by Sarah Rex — “fresh and unusual”
* The Valentine’s Card by Cherie Ferguson — “really heartwarming and romantic”
* Mount Coolum Magic by Dayle White — “lovely emotional pitch”
---------------------------------------------------------
Read on for Barry’s winning story.
Almost A Fishy Romance
Sometimes physics is the perfect introduction to a little chemistry
WORDS BARRY ROSENBERG ILLUSTRATION TIFFANY ATKIN
Mark Summers was an architect on the Sunshine Coast. He was tall and tanned with thick wavy hair. One lock of which always fell beguilingly over his forehead. At age thirty, he was definitely attractive to women and had many first dates. Few made it to a second. Mark was an architect with an interest in modern physics.
Yes, his dates loved his enthusiasm when he first spoke about houses and design. But their eyes glazed over when he went on to describe rooms that allowed for quantum flows of cooling or spaces that could be fractally increased for an expanding family.
In desperation, Mark joined Sunny Extras Casting Company. It wasn’t for the money. He just hoped to meet interesting people, interesting female people who were not to be put off by a little quantum. Roger, the manager of SECC, was impressed by Mark’s portfolio. “You’ve got the looks. You’ve got the bod. Have you got the voice? Say g’day.”
“G’day.”
“OK. Say how do you do?”
“How do you do?”
“Great. Try I like ze feesh and ze cheeps.”
“I like ze feesh and ze cheeps.”
“Excellent. Perfect. You’re on. We’re doing a shoot at Noosa. Five am next Sunday before the walkers disturb the sand and the surfers dot the ocean. You on?”
“Try and keep me away.”
The portly Roger rubbed his palms together. “Excellent, see you then.”
“Indeed.” Mark put out his hand and over-enthusiastically squeezed Roger’s fingers.
Donna Claire was a secretary. She was red-haired and possessed sparkling green eyes. Contrary to all opinions regarding her colouring, she did not have a fiery temperament. Mostly, she was calm and considerate. Donna was also tall with a willowy figure and high cheekbones.
As her mother said, “Even a sack would look good on you.”
Being a secretary for a high-powered real estate company in Hastings Street, Noosa, meant that she met many attractive men. A number of them asked her out. Some of who were even single. Donna was willing to give the unattached a try. She also rarely made it to a second date. Being halfway towards a PhD in maths tended to dampen any romantic ardour.
One evening, she went to dinner with Trevor. “When I’m with you,” Trevor murmured, “time goes so quickly.”
“Ah yes, that’s due to relativity.” Donna sparkled with repartee. “We’re motionless relative to each other. If one of us, however, should travel near to the speed of light then time would slow down.”
That was Donna’s idea of a joke. Trevor, however, was baffled. The dinner ended early and Donna was taken home. Home alone but not quite. She shared a small house in Tewantin with her mother. In fact, the reason that she was almost a PhD rather than a full PhD was that she’d come home to act as a nurse. Donna had been a late child and her mother was frail. Rather than put her in a nursing home, she’d decided to do the caring herself.
Since Trevor was the last in a line of failures, Donna thought that she’d give herself some fun and earn money by working as an extra. She also joined Sunny Extras.
“You’ve got the looks. You’ve got the bod,” Roger said. “Next Sunday at five.”
“Good, I’ll be there.”
They met when the sun was just rising so that the sea reflected a palette of reds and purples. The air tasted like champagne and the sand was smooth as silk. Mark was in boardshorts. Donna was in a tiny red bikini. Even before Roger introduced them, they couldn’t take their eyes off each other. When they shook hands, an electric tingle ran from one to the other.
“I’d better not mention quantum,” Mark said to himself.
“No jokes about relativity theory,” Donna thought.
Roger pulled them apart. “I want a cliche.” He hitched up the cut-down track pants that allowed his stomach to breathe. “You’re both slowly running across the sand with arms open to hug each other. Got that?”
“Slow running?” Mark repeated, looking puzzled.
“Slow?” Donna frowned.
“Slow,” Roger repeated.
They walked to the edge of the water and stood about a tennis court distance apart. Roger dropped his hand. “Go!”
Mark and Donna began to run in slow motion. Mark stopped. “It’s killing my legs.”
Donna extended a shapely calf. “I’m getting cramp.”
Roger circled his hand, meaning: go on, go on.
Mark shrugged while Donna lifted her shoulders in a manner that made his heart race. They slowly came to within hugging distance. A little awkwardly, they put their arms around each other.
“She’s supposed to be your girlfriend,” Roger called. “Not your maiden aunt. Just do the last bit again.”
Mark and Donna slowly ran into a hug.
“Closer,” Roger called. “Closer.”
Mark grinned. He was really enjoying being an extra.
“Cut!”
Reluctantly, Mark drew away. He was pleased to see that Donna was also grinning.
“The hug’s the most difficult part,” Roger said. “So now we’ll do it again but in real time. The camera will slow you down later.”
Mark and Donna went back to being a tennis court distance apart. Then they began to run towards each other, not totally realistically but with a hint of slow-motion romance. It was hard work on the soft sand and they were almost at hugging distance when Mark’s calf cramped. He fell forward. Donna tried to catch him but he was too heavy. He landed on top of her, his lips a breath away from hers.
Mark began to say, “I’m sorry…” But their eyes met and his body on top of hers created a heat that had nothing to do with the rising sun. They stayed there for a long moment.
Roger came over. “That was great. How did you know to do that? I can use you both again next week.” He helped to pack away the crew’s equipment. “I’ll ring you on Friday.”
Mark had helped Donna on to her feet and, unawares, they were still holding hands. At a gentle pressure from Mark, though it might’ve been from Donna, they drew together and their lips lightly kissed. They both sighed.
“That impact,” Mark said, “really I should have bounced away with half your velocity.” He put his hand over his mouth. Damn, he’d just spoken in physics.
But Donna leant into him. “That’s only for perfectly elastic bodies. We’re non-elastic.” She went pink. Damn, she was talking in maths. “Um, I mean it was nice, very nice.”
Then they stared at each other, their eyes growing big. “You know maths?”
“You know physics?”
They laughed and hugged again. Boy had just met girl.
At that moment, however, Donna glanced out to sea. “Oh, look there’s Flipper.”
Mark squinted. Then he saw a fin. A smooth projectile leapt out of the water. It was Flipper, the young dolphin that had been coming close to shore.
Donna ran into the water. “Last one in is a turtle.”
Mark hesitated. He was just an average swimmer and it was still too early for lifeguards plus the sea here was too smooth for surfers. He watched Donna’s strong overarm. She hadn’t gone far when Flipper raced towards her.
At first, it seemed all was fun, dolphin and beautiful woman frolicking in the water. Then it changed. Donna headed back towards the shore but Flipper cut her off. Donna tried again but with the same result. On the third time, she called out.
“Hey Mark, Flipper is trying to be amorous.”
“What?”
“I think he wants to mate.”
Mark was furious. Boy meets girl. Now, boy loses girl? To a fish? A handsome fish, true. OK, a swimming mammal. But still a bloody fish! Without thinking about it, Mark plunged into the surf. It plunged him back. He rushed in again. The choppy waves broke over him but he pushed against them. Swallowing sea water, Mark headed towards Donna and the dolphin suitor.
Flipper saw Mark. He saw Mark and rightly saw a competitor. With a look that said ‘stay there’ to Donna, Flipper zoomed towards Mark. The human flung himself vertically out of the water. The dolphin, usually playful rather than aggressive, threw himself to one side. Flipper came back, intending to nudge Mark. Mark waved frantically at Donna. She, however, needed no urging and was heading rapidly towards shore. Mark moved away from shore. Flipper nudged him back towards it.
Mark did a quick calculation. He weighed seventy-two kilograms. The dolphin was said to weigh about two hundred. That was three times his weight and water was its medium. In a straight argy-bargy, he didn’t stand a chance. From the corner of his eye, he saw that Donna was now waving at him. She was home and hoed.
Mark pointed a finger. “Naughty fish.” The dolphin’s usual smile turned into a grimace. “OK, naughty mammal.” The smile returned.
Flipper’s adolescent aggression seemed to go as quickly as it had appeared. He swam away, leapt into the air and created a brilliant glistening arc. It, or rather he, looked towards where Donna had been. But as she wasn’t there any longer, he shot into the air, balanced on his tail, and sped away. Wearily, Mark paddled back into the shallows.
Donna rushed towards him and held him tight. “I was so afraid. First for me. Then for you.” She moved back a little. “You are all right, aren’t you?”
Trying to sound cool, Mark said, “Do fractals jump to strange attractors?”
Donna instantly replied, “They will if we bifurcate enough. Oops!” She giggled.
At the edge of the surf, they faced together and gazed deeply into each other’s eyes.
Roger, standing on the shore, looked at them and saw a dolphin leap high into the air and create a rainbow spray that haloed them.
---------------------------------------------------------------
